| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|05:58 pm] |
I know you like
the weight of silence or
slamming doors.
Between the days I left and
then returned to the city,
you faded into the sidewalks and
your footsteps begin in the basement,
leaving small stories like a trail of
chipped teeth all the way
to
I don't know,
anywhere.
You have less to say,
like a deflated thing,
and I'm not who I used to
be. No, now I don't know some things you
wish I could understand but
I still know you
and I still care for you.
This december cold,
is going to run down our throats
like shooting stars,
it's freezing temperatures will
remain in our spinal chord.
I could've told you anything, I could've given you the universe. But I chose to leave you with less than goodbye. Less than a spare cigarette. More then, however, what anyone else left you with. I've asked around, it's the same story from everyone else: He's crazy, his whole family is fucked up. Fucking nuts. And I knew that from the start but now I really see it. I'm not sure what it means but if I thought it would help I might call you or ask you how you've been, knowing the answer is a text book response. The lines remain unfinished, and a lot of the words get lost. Only sometimes do I know exactly what I should say to you. But seeing you, however, is not something I think I'm capable of. No, not now. And maybe not ever again. But,
a phone call might be of help.
Maybe. It's all very hard to understand, I don't know how these things happen to such close friends. But they do and this is real and I'm sorry. I don't know why but I am. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|11:20 pm] |
Cigarettes.
Glue.
A ligher-
this one was a gift, when the habit wasn't, you know,
a habit.
Coffee.
Paint.
A kiss-
One that I was given before I liked him.
Adrenaline.
Clothing.
Physics-
I learned about that before I knew the terms.
Television.
Addction.
Help-
It was recommended before I thought I had a problem.
Today,
was the smell of smoke
filling up my cavaties.
If it hurts, can I just waste it?
Can I waste you, actually?
I was given the choice before I knew
there was a plan.
And blizzards-
My therapist says
they're in season. Get ready for the flowers to bloom in January.
I hear it's a beautiful and violent triumph.
You know, indifference. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|10:37 am] |
So, wow. My flight doesn't leave until 6pm, but I had to get tot he airport like 7 this morning because otherwise I would have had to pay $50 for a shuttle to the airport, and I only paid $5 for gas, so I just figured I'd sit and wait. I kept seeing Earlham students coming in and out and I'd talk to them for a little while and all that. But now I'm all on my own and it's kind of nice. But anyway, I went to go get a movie for my mom for Christmas and the lady who sold it to me asked where I was going and all that and I told her that I was going home! But I had to wait a loooong time before my flight and she walked over to the comfy business suite place and she came back and told me to go rest in there until my flight. Isn't that nice?!?? I like people like that. I'm sure everyone does. I think it's my goal in life to be like her. It really is quite comfy.
only 7.5 more hours until i board!!! and only 2.5 more hours until i can check my bag! only 12 more hours until i'm hooooome :)
but i kinda miss him already :( |
|
|
| finals are finished. |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|11:14 pm] |
The finals are over and my god I feel different and the same all at once. It's a bitter sweet end to a great biology class. I mean, I'm happy to move on to different classes, but it's hard to realize I won't be doing any more of those labs or staying up all night studying or learning about neanderthals. Sure I now am able to go out and learn a lot of those things through indipendent research, but I really enjoyed this class. And next semester I don't get to take a biocore class because of math classes I have to take. That's enough to put a frown on my face. But I'll figure it out, somehow. My credits are all messed up and they kicked me out of the so called 'honors program' because I didn't sign up for another english class. So fuck those rules. I'm going to take the classes I want to when I want to.
I'm Mr. November
I won't fuck us over. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|04:18 pm] |
|
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done and it's time for Portland time!!!!!!! I come back in two days yayayayaaaaa!! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2009|01:50 pm] |
. get bonner shit together
. choir concert
. gospel revs concert
. dairy farm visits
. write scientific research paper
. energy efficiency homework
. work on presentation for culture and conflict
. finish geosciences lab
. read for geoscience discussions
. culture and conflict presentation on milk
. call wolfe's neck farm for reference
. jackie robinson term paper DUE TOMORROW
. last bonner meeting, tomorrow
. meeting with jana, friday
. geosciences final exam dec. 14, 4:30pm
. candlelight christmas concert, dec. 14 :) :) :)
. biology final exam dec. 16, 2pm
. seeds of peace application
. finalize schedule for next semester
. find some coal
and i'm working in my jackie robinson paper. wow! i like being able to cross shit out. i only have one more big thing to do, and that's the term paper. which is, fuck me, due tomorrow. and now i'm procrastinating. here we go!!! |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dadrunkirishboy's Friends Page